I once drew a gender-bent Captain America. And in that drawing I drew a "boob window".
What was an exercise in trying to get better at my craft by rendering with markers (Copics are awesome, btw - super expensive, but awesome. Sponsor me.) and tongue-in-cheek re-design of an iconic outfit, a few people called out the "sexualization" of the character. More importantly, I could read between the judgmental lines: "Really? Ugh. Yuck."
This was a while ago - way before the hypersensitivity of what we're experiencing today - but even then I was curious about that reaction. I don't disagree that it was sexualized. Clearly it was. I knew what I was doing and I didn't deny it. But still... the comment left an impression.
And for the first time, upon reflection, I noticed that my answer was simple but genuine: Because I wanted to. I wanted to draw/render with markers and draw a boob window. Looking back, It was liberating to not care about the feedback or try to navigate loaded criticism. I wanted to draw for fun. It's not to the public liking? Okay. "That's...like...sexist and misogynist?" If you say so.
I draw things and I share them because that's fun! And unless you're in the trusted circle of people I take feedback from (in either craft or conduct), I'd rather not spend any more time trying to validate the fun I'm having to randoms.
There is so much noise from the outside that it's understandable to take on unwanted outside baggage instead of addressing and working your own. Filtering out what doesn't matter and focusing on what does - rendering, composition, color theory, anatomy, et al - takes a lot of practice.
Those of you who know, will relate: Drawing is hard. But it's also fun.
Most of the time, especially if you're trying to get better, it's a rampaging juggernaut of insecurity, fail then try again (x100), creative blocks galore, etc. It can get overwhelming. But if you love drawing, you invite the difficulty in because...well...it's fun.
Do your very best to not let the outside rob you of that "joy".
Here's "Quiet" from Metal Gear. This outfit is so silly as a military operative. But it's also a video game. Enjoy.
